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It's nice to be back - bergamot and vetiver
run through my head and fall away
mattachu
mattachu
It's nice to be back

Okay, I am somewhat over MySpace. It's fun and all, but it's a little middle/high school to me. Anyway, I think I like this place more for putting down my thoughts and feelings and the MySpace for when i feel like running for Prom King or something.

Anyway. I anticipate plenty of time for contemplation since my job went bye-bye to India. Yeah, and I don't even work in a call center. I guess even menial insurance company clerical work is apt to be sent overseas.

It is now day 2 of not having a job to go to. It's kind of weird. I guess I should be thankful I am getting paid for, basically, 2+ months for doing nothing. It still makes me worry.

Why is it life lists along for like, 4 years, and suddenly goes all to hell in like the same 2 week period or so? One of my best friends in the world moved to Chicago. Unlike Bill, I know Shaun and I will remain "sisters" and not lose touch. He was a much better person to start with than Bill ever thought about being. And a much truer friend. Justin's kid is being born today, probably. Yeah, it's pointless to have ever had feelings for him, but there ya go. I'm an idiot. But if he's totally straight, I will convert to being a fucking Republican. I just know that things between us will not be the same, even if he thinks otherwise. We're supposed to be working together on this advertising/marketing business that we have talked about for a long time. I just wonder if I am not making a mistake. I just wonder how much of the "nuclear family" will be crammed down my throat. No amount of happy pills will let me deal with that. I mean, in the 5 or so years we have known each other, I have met his wife once. And that was at the wedding he guilted me into going to. is it me, or does that seem fishy?  I dunno. I've never had a stronger desire to move away and never look at this city again. But the some of same things that make me want to leave also tether me to the place. It's infuriating.

On the brighter side, Lucy is being a LOT nicer to the new dog. His name is Teddy. He really is a sweetheart. I know he is happy to finally be out of the rescue and in a "forever" home. He just gets so overjoyed when I (used to) come home from work. It's just makes you smile when he looks at you like his whole world revolves around you.

I guess it's nice to be needed by someone, even if it is a couple of dogs.

Current Location: home, of course
I'm feeling: depressed depressed

2 comments or get it off your chest
Comments
From: (Anonymous) Date: May 26th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Bergamot and vetiver

Damn nice title for a blog. And don't become a Republican, ever!
mattachu From: mattachu Date: May 29th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Bergamot and vetiver

Thanks!
I have to give credit to REM and "Find the River" lol
wish i had come up with it!

and i could never REALLY covert to republicanism unless I had a lobotomy:)
2 comments or get it off your chest